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Monday, 26 May 2014

Rav Moshe Feinstein : A man is more of a slave to his wife than she to him

Posted on 02:14 by viju

I noticed this comment of Rav Moshe Feinstein this morning while I was looking through the 9th volume of the Igros Moshe. I found them puzzling since he is commenting on the gemora which itself says that a wife is similar to a slave. [Eliyahu G wrote: these exact words have already been written by R. Moshe in Dibros Moshe Gitin page 511]  Text available on Hebrew Books here

Menachos (43b) It was taught: R. Judah used to say, A man is bound to say the following three blessings daily: ‘[Blessed art thou . . .] who hast not made me a heathen’, ‘. . . . who hast not made me a woman’; and ‘ . . . who hast not made me a brutish man’. R. Aha b. Jacob once overhead his son saying ‘[Blessed art thou . . .] who hast not made me a brutish man’, whereupon he said to him, ‘And this too!’ Said the other, ‘Then what blessing should I say instead?’ [He replied,] . . . who hast not made me a slave’. And is not that the same as a woman? — A slave is more contemptible.1 [Rashi- nevetheless a slave is on a lower level than a woman Or alternatively, ‘nevertheless go on (including the blessing concerning the slave)’, so as to make up the three blessings.]

אגרות משה (אורח חיים ו:ב.ה): מעיר על מה שפירש רש"י שאשה שפחה לבעלה כעבד
 ]ועיין ברש"י [מנחות מג:] שפירש בפירוש ראשון על הקושיא היינו אשה, דאשה נמי שפחה לבעלה כעבד לרבו. ולולא דמסתפינא הייתי אומר שצריך למחקו דח"ו לרש"י לומר דברי הבל כזה, דמן התורה הא ליכא שום שעבוד על האשה לבעלה חוץ מתשמיש, ולענין תשמיש הוא משועבד לה יותר דהא עליו איכא גם איסור לאו, ורבנן שתיקנו שמעשה ידיה לבעלה הא  כנגד זה חייב במזונות ואינה מחוייבת לעשות רק עניני הבית ולא עבודת שדה ומעט עשיה בצמר שהיא מלאכה קלה ממלאכות שדרכן של בנות העיר בזה, עיין בש"ע אהע"ז ריש סיי פ,' והמזונות מחוייב שלא לגרוע מכפי דרך משפחתה ודרך משפחתו ובכל אופן  לא פחות מכפי שהוא אוכל, וכן שמחוייב בכסות לפי  מנהג בנות העיר ולפי דרך המשפחות שלו ושלה  דעולה עמו ואינה יורדת עמו ומחוייב לכבדה ואינו  יכול לילך מביתו בלא רשותה רק למלאכתו הידוע לה,  והבעל אדרבה מחוייב לעשות כל המלאכות שצריך האדם לפרנסה כלשון שתיקנו לכתוב בכתובה, ואף להשכיר עצמו סברי התוסי בשם רי אליהו בכתובות  דף ס"ג ד"ה באומר שהוא מחוייב, ונמצא שאדרבה  הוא יותר עבד לה מכפי שהיא שפחתו וצע"ג[.    
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