My precious little boys Sammy and Benji,
While other families prepare for the New Year, we are once again separated. I cannot be with you on the holiest day of the year, cannot buy you new clothes and shoes for shul like other mothers or even kiss you good Yom Tov. I won't be able to hold you in my arms again and bless you until after Rosh Hashonnah by which time our fate for the coming year will already have been decided. While everyone fills the river with their sins, we could flood it with our tears.
Luckily, there is another court, a higher court than the one here on earth that has caused us so much unnecessary hurt and pain. On Rosh Hashonnah, Hashem, the real judge will sit in Court and the angels will help Him decide what will happen in the coming year. Surely we have been tested enough and better times lie ahead.
There is not a day, an hour or a moment that goes by when I am not thinking about you both and willing all my motherly love and positive energy towards you, hoping and praying that you feel me there beside you, reaching out and holding your soft warm hands. You are never alone.
On Rosh Hashonnah, I will daven for you all the more. I wish so much that you will finally be able to enjoy your childhood and be allowed to grow up peacefully, healthily and most of all, feeling loved and secure.
I, your Mama, am here for you. I will never ever desert you and I will never be far away.
Shana tova umetukah my darling baby boys. I love you so so much.
With you always in spirit even if you cannot see me.
Your Mummy forever
xxx
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