Exercising the Mind to Treat Attention Deficits

Update See  NYTimes - previous article

NY Times   Which will it be — the berries or the chocolate dessert? Homework or the Xbox? Finish that memo, or roam Facebook?

Such quotidian decisions test a mental ability called cognitive control, the capacity to maintain focus on an important choice while ignoring other impulses. Poor planning, wandering attention and trouble inhibiting impulses all signify lapses in cognitive control. Now a growing stream of research suggests that strengthening this mental muscle, usually with exercises in so-called mindfulness, may help children and adults cope with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and its adult equivalent, attention deficit disorder.

The studies come amid growing disenchantment with the first-line treatment for these conditions: drugs.

In 2007, researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles, published a study finding that the incidence of A.D.H.D. among teenagers in Finland, along with difficulties in cognitive functioning and related emotional disorders like depression, were virtually identical to rates among teenagers in the United States. The real difference? Most adolescents with A.D.H.D. in the United States were taking medication; most in Finland were not.

“It raises questions about using medication as a first line of treatment,” said Susan Smalley, a behavior geneticist at U.C.L.A. and the lead author.

In a large study published last year in The Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, researchers reported that while most young people with A.D.H.D. benefit from medications in the first year, these effects generally wane by the third year, if not sooner.

“There are no long-term, lasting benefits from taking A.D.H.D. medications,” said James M. Swanson, a psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, and an author of the study. “But mindfulness seems to be training the same areas of the brain that have reduced activity in A.D.H.D.”

“That’s why mindfulness might be so important,” he added. “It seems to get at the causes.” [...]

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Four men in Far Rockaway charged with stealing $12 million intended for Jewish special needs toddlers

See last years NY Times   Villiage Voice   According to the Queens District Attorney's office, four men in Far Rockaway, including a rabbi, have been charged with stealing $12.4 million intended for Jewish special needs toddlers. The men allegedly used that money for all sorts of other things instead, including home repairs on one man's residence, redesigning another man's home from the bottom up, and helping pay for catering for a third man's daughter's wedding and his son's Bar Mitzvah.

According to an audit conducted by the state last year, exactly zero dollars are believed to have gone to the special needs babies, who were supposed to receive specialized one-on-one instruction. Yep. This is a bad one.

The indicted men are Ira Kurman, 52, Rabbi Samuel Hiller, 56, Roy Hoffmann, 50, of 1 Hazel Place and Daniel Laniado, 41. Kurman and Hiller live in Queens, Hoffmann in Long Island and Laniado in Brooklyn. All four men, like their victims, are Orthodox, and the scandal quickly spread through the haredi community last year after a state audit revealed that Island Child Development Center, a day care center for special needs kids which Kurman was the director of, had received millions in taxpayer funding for the instruction of 200 special needs children, aged 3 to 5.[....]

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Do talmidei chachomim really insult and belittle each other?

I just received this letter which raises an important issue - the negative actions and comments which talmidei chachomim make about each other. It is a timely issue since during sefira Rabbi Akiva lost 24 thousand students because they did not treat each other with respect (Yevamos 62b).

There are explanations that try and show that at least the cases in the Talmud are not what they seem (Chavis Yair). That it wasn't that they insulted each other but they weren't as respectful as they should have been - and they are just judged more severely than others. However there is another approach which understands them as negative as they seem but tries to explain the purpose of the negativity.

Lichvod HaRav shlit"a

... I write to you because your Daas Torah volume is gevaldig and I have given it as a gift to numerous people. So I felt I could write to you and maybe get some directions or Mareh Mekomos.

I say some shiurim to yungerleit and one of the issues that has come up a number of times is קינטורים of the Chachomim in the Gemora. eg. at the end of Beitzah where they laughed at Rabbi Abba and many other places in Shass.

Besides for the Teshuvos Chavos Yair that the Chofetz Chaim brings at the end of the Sefer is there someone who discusses the issues at length that I could learn?

...

BeHokoroh VeRagshei Kovod

 ===============
The simple answer is that Torah learning is based on an adversarial system which involves not only proving that others are wrong but is motivated in part by jealousy and showing that others are not as good or learned or righteous as they seem. [See Berachos (27b) where the Sages are described as warriors. Rashi says that is because they try to defeat each other in halachic discussion.] Furthermore Yuma (86b) says it is a mitzva to publicize the fact that certain talmidei chachomim or tzadikim - are not as big as they appear [publicizing hypocrites]- as can be seen from the sources below.

Berachos (28b) describes a prayer before learning "Our Rabbis taught: On entering what does a man say? ‘May it be Thy will, O Lord my God, that no offence may occur through me, and that I may not err in a matter of halachah and that my colleagues may rejoice in me and that I may not call unclean clean or clean unclean, and that my colleagues may not err in a matter of halachah and that I may rejoice in them’." Rashi says that the issue of rejoicing in the mistakes of others is meant literally. [You also might want to read the Seridei Aish's letters which were published by Dr. Marc Shapiro in Torah uMadda Journal ]

In fact the present Bostoner Rebbe told me that this is one of the differences between the Torah learning of Litvaks and Chassidim and why Litvaks are generally better scholars. When Litvaks learn Torah -  they learn primarily to determine what is truth. As a result the discussions get heated and each one tries with all his ability to show he is correct and the other is wrong. In contrast Chassidim learn primarily for the sake of the mitzva of Torah learning - to understand what the seforim say -  and there is much less heat and emotion.

יבמות סב: אמרו: שנים עשר אלף זוגים תלמידים היו לו לרבי עקיבא, מגבת עד אנטיפרס, וכולן מתו בפרק אחד מפני שלא נהגו כבוד זה לזה, והיה העולם שמם, עד שבא ר"ע אצל רבותינו שבדרום, ושנאה להם ר"מ ור' יהודה ור' יוסי ורבי שמעון ורבי אלעזר בן שמוע, והם הם העמידו תורה אותה שעה. תנא: כולם מתו מפסח ועד עצרת. אמר רב חמא בר אבא, ואיתימא ר' חייא בר אבין: כולם מתו מיתה רעה. מאי היא? א"ר נחמן: אסכרה.

מהרש"א חידושי אגדות (יבמות סב:) מפני שלא נהגו כבוד זה לזה כו' ולא חש כ"א מהם על כבוד תורה של חבירו דאין כבוד אלא תורה ולכך מתו במדה זו כי היא חייך גו' ואמרו שמתו במיתת אסכרה דאפשר דכ"א דיבר לשון הרע והיה מספר בגנות חבירו וסימן ללשון הרע אסכרה כדאמרינן פרק ב"מ ואמר שמתו בין פסח לעצרת להורות שמתו בהשגחה כי הוא הזמן ממוצע לבריאות וקרוב לרפואה כדאמרינן בשבת כל שקייני טבא בין דיבחא לעצרתא וק"ל:

במדרש רבה (קהלת י"א, ו') איתא שאמר לשבעת תלמידיו החדשים "הראשונים לא מתו אלא מפני שהיתה עיניהם צרה בתורה זה לזה, אתם לא תהיו כן, מיד עמדו ומלאו כל ארץ ישראל תורה", וטעם זה על כי היו צרי עין נתחדש לו אח"כ

קידושין (ל:): אמר רבי חייא בר אבא: אפי' האב ובנו, הרב ותלמידו, שעוסקין בתורה בשער אחד נעשים אויבים זה את זה, ואינם זזים משם עד שנעשים אוהבים זה את זה, שנאמר: את והב בסופה, אל תקרי בסופה אלא בסופה.

רש"י (קידושין ל:): נעשו אויבים - מתוך שמקשים זה לזה ואין זה מקבל דברי זה.

יומא (פו:): מפרסמין את החנפין מפני חילול השם, שנאמר ובשוב צדיק מצדקו ועשה עול ונתתי מכשול לפניו.

רש"י (יומא פו:): מפרסמין את החנפין - שהן רשעים ומראין עצמן כצדיקים, אם יש מכיר במעשיו מצוה לפרסמו מפני חילול השם, שבני אדם למידין ממעשיו, שסבורין עליו שהוא צדיק, ועוד, כשבא עליו פורענות בני אדם אומרים מה הועיל לו זכותו:

חפץ חיים (באר מים חיים - הלכות רכילות - כלל ט:ב.יז): ויעשה מעשה. שלא אמרו (יומא פו:) מצוה לפרסם את החנפים אלא לענין להזהיר לכתחלה שלא יבוא להתחבר עמו כדי שלא יבוא לידי הפסד, או אפילו אם כבר נתחבר עמו, והוא יודע את טבע האיש שהוא מספר לו שרק יחוש לדיבורו לענין לשמור את עצמו, אבל לא שיסובב לו על ידו היזק ממש ממה שלא היה בא לו אפילו אם היה מעיד עליו בב"ד לבד:

בבא בתרא (כא.): ואמר רבא: האי מקרי ינוקי דגריס, ואיכא אחרינא דגריס טפי מיניה - לא מסלקינן ליה, דלמא אתי לאיתרשולי. רב דימי מנהרדעא אמר: כ"ש דגריס טפי, קנאת סופרים תרבה חכמה.

שו"ע יורה דעה (רמה:יח): אם יש כאן מלמד שמלמד לתינוקות, ובא אחר טוב ממנו, מסלקין הראשון מפני השני.

בבא בתרא (כא:): אמר רב יוסף: ומודי רב הונא במקרי דרדקי דלא מצי מעכב, דאמר מר: (עזרא תיקן להן לישראל שיהו מושיבין סופר בצד סופר. וניחוש דילמא אתי לאיתרשולי. א"ל:) קנאת סופרים תרבה חכמה.

רש"י (ברכות כז:) בעלי תריסין - חכמים המנצחים זה את זה בהלכה 

רש"י (ברכות כח:): ולא אכשל - וישמחו חברי על כשלוני, הרי רעות שתים, שיבאו על ידי שאגרום להם שיענשו.
outdash2
 

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Rav Sternbuch will speak tonight at 6 p.m. in Netivot

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Tamar Epstein's marriage "annulment", Rabbinical Council of Washington and the degradation of Orthodox values and authority

Guest Post  by Joe Orlow

See - Tamar Epstein claims she is free even without a Get

[update added questions from Friedman supporters]

================
The Aharon Friedman-Tamar Epstein divorce process is an issue that has led to a split in the Jewish community. I am directly aware of a number of people, including people who are learned, who were initially supporters of Tamar Epstein and subsequently have become strong supporters of Aharon Friedman after they discovered more about the case and studied in more depth the Halacha which has a bearing on this case.

The Rabbinical Council of Greater Washington (RCW) relying on a letter from the Union of Orthodox Rabbis of the United States and Canada (Agudath HaRabonim), made a bizarre statement that "Mr. Aharon Friedman has been adjudged in violation of an order of a Beis Din and accordingly is now considered halachically to have made his wife an agunah."

Subsequent to the Agudath HaRabonim letter being issued, one of the Rabbis who signed the letter was arrested by the FBI in a sting operation for allegedly offering to free a woman from her husband -- even though the "husband" in question did not exist, since the woman had lied to him as part of the sting. One of the staff members of the Agudath Harabonim was also arrested as part of the sting.

Another Rabbi who signed the letter has allegedly been involved in a similar case, in which an actual husband was beaten and apparently almost killed.

Another Rabbi who signed the letter has a longstanding and close connection with Tamar Epstein's family.

Another Rabbi who did not actually sign the letter but added his signature to a copy of the letter has apparently called for beating husbands who don't give a Get to their wives after the husband and wife have been separated for an extended period, apparently without regard to the circumstances of the separation.

In this context, the statement by the RCW that "We urge those who have contact with or influence over Mr. Aharon Friedman to persuade Mr. Friedman, through proper [emphasis added] means only, to promptly comply with the order of the Beis Din and to promptly give his wife the required Get." would seem to indicate that violence is in order. Indeed, after the RCW's letter was issued, Aharon was attacked in the driveway of his wife's residence as he dropped off his daughter.

Lately, Tamar Epstein denies she's married to Aharon Friedman.

I have three initial questions:

(1) Are we allowed to take under consideration the published reports about Rabbi Mordechai Wolmark and Rabbi Yisroel Belsky and their alleged involvement in beating husbands, and if yes, how does this impact the letter they wrote about Aharon Friedman?

(2) How should we treat the RCW which apparently has allied itself with these men?

(3) How should we treat the RCW in light of their silence in regard to Tamar Epstein's disregard of her marriage to Aharon Friedman and her making herself available for marriage to another man?

[added questions from Friedman's supporters:

Following the assault on Aharon, the DC Vaad, and the rabbis who are its members, have refused to answer the following two questions (sent to them by email and postal mail):

Do you and the Washington Vaad consider beating Aharon to be "proper means" of "persuading" Aharon to give a get as called for in the Vaad's letter?

Would you or the Washington Vaad recognize as valid a get that was obtained through beating Aharon?

Furthermore, the RCW has an affiliated Congregation whose Rabbi is a graduate of a Yeshiva with a Bais Medrash

(a) where the students discuss the New Testament with Catholic clergy,

(b) whose current president welcomes intermarried couples,

(c) whose Rosh Yeshiva is embarrassed by the Torah as it has been received (and who seems to be advocating for a way to end a marriage in general without a legitimate Get), while

(d) the coordinator of conversions for the Rabbinic organization associated with the Yeshiva denies that any Jews are descended from Abraham.

Is a Jew allowed to step into that RCW affiliated Shul? If yes, can one eat from the kitchen in that Shul (the kitchen is certified Kosher by the RCW)?

One of the Rabbis of the RCW co-authored a Sefer with a number of Rabbis closely connected to this Yeshiva. Can a Jew Daven in this RCW Rabbi's Shul and eat from the kitchen there?

If food from the kitchens at these Shuls are off-limits, may one still eat at and/or buy food from other RCW certified Kosher establishments such as butcher shops?

There is an Orthodox school here whose Rav ha-Kehilla is a Musmach of this Yeshiva. May a student attend this school?

Furthermore, there's an international Orthodox organization that has some member congregations that have Rabbis who are graduates of this Yeshiva. This organization has not categorically stated that these Rabbis cannot participate as members of the Kashrus branch of the organization. May a Jew eat food which has been certified as Kosher by this organization?

There's another international Kashrus organization whose Rabbinic leader has given a letter of support to the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot (ORA). ORA is the group that broke the news that Tamar Epstein, a married woman, is "free" and which took credit for facilitating this married woman's being granted the freedom to marry another man. May a Jew eat food certified Kosher by this Kashrus organization?

Lastly, it is my understanding that the entire Jewish Nation accepted upon itself to follow the Shulchan Aruch, and that when a Rav decides not to follow the Shulchan Aruch in a given case that it is not improper to request of him that he explain why we do not follow the Shulchan in that case.

Yet, reportedly, there's a Rav of the RCW that said that when a great scholar says to go against the Shulchan Aruch that the great scholar must be followed unquestioningly. Is one allowed to Daven in this Rav's shul, or to ask Halachic questions of him?

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Psychology: A Jewish alternative through Torah Eitzah and Mussar - Rabbi Yosef Epstein

בדורותינו

בדורות שלפנים, היתה חכמת העצה נדרשת מפי חכמי תורה ויראה, מפי זקנים שבעי הרפתקאות ונסיון ׁ(עי' שמו"ר ג:י כל מי שנוטל עצה מן הזקנים וכו': ודר"א זוטא פ"ז), וזיוה הי' נאצל מזיו עינים הבהירה של גדולי הדורות מנהיגי האומה.

אולם בדורותינו אנו, הלכה חכמת העצה ופשטה צורה ולבשה צורה - מעט מעט עברה מרשותם של חכמים וזקנים לרשותם של מדענים, עולי ימים, מקצוענים, מהם גם כאלה שלא פתחו בה אלא כקרדום לחפור בה.

רמה הוא המעין הימנו שואב הייעוץ בימינו, הן אין זה אלא חכמת הפסיכולוגיא של ימינו - הפסיכולוגיא של "פסיכואנליטיקה" ר"בהייביוריזם" אשר פיררתי· הארסיים אנו אוכלים.

אף המדען או היועץ הדתי, למרות כשרות אישיותו, סוף סוף מקורו המדעי נובע משם. אם בכח העיון והמחשבה שלו לא די עצמאי הוא, ואם הכרתו לא די עמוק ברקע התורה והאמונה היא נעוצה, קל לו לגרעין פורה רוש ולענה להיות תוסס וצומח תחת סף הכרתו, ולהעביר גם טעם וריח אל מוחו של הנוטל עצתו.

יותר מזה, לאור מחקרי הערכה ו"דיררחים" בשדה הפעולה המדעית של הייעוץ  המקצועי והעבודה הסוציאלית, לא רק שהתחילו רבים וחכמים לפקפק ביעילותם של אי-אלה מהם, אלא גם להודות, באיזה ענפים, על קלקול העולה על התיקון ועל הפסד העןלה על השכר, וטוב שלא נבראו משנבראו. (כל זה הוא מהפרסומים המדעיים של אלה, ואכהמ"ל.(

הרואה את הנולד

למרות המבוכה בשדה המחקר של הפסיכולוגיא - יום יום ושיטותיו הסותרות אשה את רעותה, למרות הטלת הספק בעצם האפשריות של קביעת שיטות וכללים כלל-אנושיים בחכמת הנפש, למרות האכזבה בהישגי הייעוץ המקצועי והעבודה הסוציאלית, ולמרות המשבר המוסרי המאיים בעולם המעשה האוכל את פירותיהם, של איזה מהשטות, הולכים ממסדים אלה הלוך והתבסס, הלוך ופרוש את מצודתם על החיים.

והמצודה פרושה גם על מחננו אנו. מחנה שומרי התורה והמצוה. גם אנו מתרגלים לפנות אל ה"כתובת" של ה"פוסקים" ה"מומחים" בבעיות נפש, יועצים מקצועיים ועובדים סוציאליים. להסתייע על ידם בענינים חברתיים, משפחתיים, חינוכיים.

ומה הפלא?

היכן לא נגעה יד הפסיכולוגיא המודרנית. הייעוץ המקצועי והעובד הסוציאלי?

בחינוך - האם יש לך בית ספר, גבוה אר תיכוני, בעל חשיבות שאין על משמרת מוריו ופקידיו, פסיכולוג, יועץ ועובד סוציאלי?

בחברה - האם יש לך מוסד חברתי פילנטררפי מקובל על הרבים שאין מתקיימת על ידו שירות פסיכולוגית. ייעוציה וסוציאלית?

במשפחה - היש לך כתב-עת די נפרץ שאין על עמודיו טור לייעוץ בחיי אישות ומשפחה?

גלגל חוזר הוא בעולם - הפסיכולוגיא, הייעוץ המקצועי והעבודה הסוציאלית מפתחים את הרגישות לבעיות. לעשותנו "מפונקים" לאותו דבר. מה ששוב מגדיל את הזיקה לפסיכולוגיא. לייעוץ ולשירות, וחוזר חלילה.

עלתה דעה בין החוקרים הסוציאליים כי גברה ועצמה בימינו "שכבת הבוגרים" המתרכזת על דרישות עצמיות תוך צמאון לחידוש ותמורה. שורש פורה בעיות נפש ומשברים. אמנם רבה בזה השפעת פיזור הנפש של החיים המודרניים אבל האם אין בזה חלק גם להשפעת הפינוק של הממסדים האמורים?

ובזה עלינו לעמוד על המשמר ולהיות רואים את הנולד!

הנה נוסף על הגורם החברתי של ימינו נוסף גם הגורם של המשטר הממשלתי המודרני ההולך ומתערב ונעשה פעיל ביותר בממסדים החברתיים, פילנטרופיים, וחינוכיים, וממילא גם מרבה לפתח את ממסדי הייעוץ המקצועי והשירות של העבודה הסוציאלית, תומך בהם כספית, ומקרב ומושך את הלבבות להנאתן.

בתהליך זה לא ימלט כי בהמשך הזמן ימסר לממסדי הפסיכולוגיא, הייעוץ המקצועי והשירות של העבודה הסוציאלית גם כח רשמי של כפי'!

כבר הגיע לידי זה שמדברים על תנועה להנהיג חוק על ידו יהא על זוג העומד להנשא להציג לא דק אישור על בריאות הגוף אלא גם על מצבו הפסיכי!

דברים אך למותר לבאר מה המה ה"סיכויים" הצפונים בזה להשפעתם של הפסיכולוגיא השימושית, הייעוץ והשירות הסוציאלית, ומה משמעותה השלילית של השפעה זו ליהדות!

האם מתבוננים אנו בזה? האם אנו עושים מה בזה בעוד מועד?

האם רואים אנו את הנולד?

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Chanufa - why flattering the rich is not only permitted but required

 Pele Yoetz (Chanufa): The great evil of chanifa (flattery) is explicitly expressed in the Talmud and medrashim. A pure man – Rav Chaim Vital – has collected the relevant material in his holy sefer Sha’arei Kedusha. A G-d fearing man who studies his sefer will strongly oppose chanifa and this will be firmly implanted in his mind. Nevertheless it is necessary to clarify precisely what chanifa is. That is because there are types of flattery which are not prohibited as chanifa but those who lack proper halachic understanding insist that they are prohibited. For example they mistakenly consider a person who honors a wealthy man as being a flatterer while someone who protests against and ridicules the rich takes pride in his disparagement and claims that he does not know how to flatter. However he greatly errs in what he says because it is in fact proper and fitting to show respect to the wealthy – as we see that Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi and Rabbi Akiva honored the rich (Eiruvin 86a). The reason is that because G-d desires that this man be valued and He therefore has bestowed upon him an abundance of blessings from Above – we are also obligated to honor him. This is especially true for any person who has been the beneficiary of the rich person that he is clearly obligated to honor him. Furthermore the rich person since he has more possessions he is more likely to increase the amount of mitzvos and good deed that he does – compared to the less wealthy and this in turn reverses the spiritual damage done by his sins. Therefore it is appropriate to show him some respect - even if he has done something inappropriate and has deviated slightly from the correct path - and consequently he shouldn't demean the rich man as much as a poor man. We learn this from Pesachim (53a) where the Sages say, "If it were not that you are Todus we would excommunicate you." It is explained that they moderated their criticism because he provide food for Torah scholars.

In fact the prohibition of chanifa (flattery) applies only in two situations – the first is difficult while the second is even more so. The first situation is when someone who looks friendly and acts in a very loving manner – and yet his mouth and his heart are not the same. With his mouth he speaks words of peace while inside himself he is plotting to trap the other person. And even if he in fact is not the enemy and has no interest in harming the other in anyway - nonetheless every instance in which he appears to have greater love and greater respect for the other person then he actually feels – he has transgressed the sin of chanifa.

Nevertheless there is an exception to the first type chanifa of prohibiting acting and speaking differently then you feel. Our Sages have permitted this type of hypocrisy in dealing with one's spouse in order to have shalom bayis, one's teacher in order to learn Torah, and even with evil men in order to have peace and minimize disputes (darchei shalom).

However the second type of chanifa is evil and bitter and involves saying to an evil person that he is good and not chastising him or protesting against his evil act - even when he is capable of doing so. Not only will he be held accountable for the sinful transgression of the evil person – as if he had done it himself - but in addition he will be surely be punished for the major sin of chanifa. A pure person who fears G d should not show favoritism to the poor nor the wealthy or powerful nor should he act out of concern that he will lose honor or benefit. His sole concern should be to trust in G d that He will not withhold good from those who conduct themselves with pure faith. In fact all those who increase the honor of Heaven will find that their own honor increases and he will not lack what he needs. In fact he should roar like a lion and raise his voice like a shofar to protest against those sinners who might listen to him...

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