In one of the discussions on the DT blog about using extrinsic motivators like punishment , I was challenged with the pasuk וידעת עם לבבך כי כאשר ייסר איש את בנו יהוה אלהיך מיסרך
I said I would respond at a different time. The pasuk Devarim 8:5 is in this week's parasha, so here is my response
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Against 'punishing kids , doesn't the Torah - Devarim 8:5 say -You should know in your heart that just as a father will chastise his son, so Hashem-Your God, chastises you
וידעת עם לבבך כי כאשר ייסר איש את בנו יהוה אלהיך מיסרך
Rabbi Shimson R. Hirsch notes that the word מוסר - mussar =moral teaching has nothing to do with punishment or chastisement which focuses on making a kid suffer for past mistakes. It is about kids internalizing the education and guidance they receive from their fathers. Does God actually punish us or is it more about how we make meaning of what happens to us? Man has the freedom of choice to interpret and explain his misfortune. It could be simply the way of the world, bad luck or misfortune, (reward or) punishment for past behavior or God communicating to him to change his ways and do Te'shuvah. The Talmud-Kidushin 20, tells of a man who sins by doing business with fruit from the Sabbatical year -fruit that is deemed ownerless and free to be taken by all. There is a consequence for this sin - he has to sell his movable property , if he does not change – he has to sell his fields, then his home , his daughter , and if he has not yet changed, he will have to sell himself to an idolater. Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz asks – why did he not learn the first time or the second time? People find it so difficult to say they did wrong and change, especially when people are struggling and taking knocks, since they tend to feel sorry for themselves.
One might ask that when parents or teachers punish kids, the lesson and message is clear and it is in the interests of the child to change to avoid the punishment. We may think we are teaching him a lesson, but he is still free to make meaning of what is happening to him.Usually , he learns something completely different - you are unfair.[...]
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