Chanifa: Acting differently than what you feel is viewed by Chazal as a serious sin - So why do they require being me'urav im habrios (acting like everyone else) even while your true thoughts and feelings are never revealed?

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Ksav Sofer (Bereishis 28:20): If You give me bread to eat and clothes to wear…Medrash Rabba (70:5) explains this verse in various ways. For example “bread” is referring to Torah, while “clothing” is referring to a talis. Meaning that if a person merits Torah he will also merit a talis. See Yafes To'ar which says that the garment referred to here is the rabbinic clothing which had tzitzis in it. In my opinion it is best explained according to Shabbos (114a), “Who is a talmid chachom? One who knows he should always wear his garments right side out. This is in accord with the view of the Chovas HaLevavos (Shaar Prishus 4), “Intelligent people have joy on their face while they mourn in their heart.” That is because those who are intelligent despise the nonsense of this world. Nevertheless it is necessary that they mingle well with others and are not isolated and therefore they have to show a cheerful face to the world and not reveal their inner feelings of mourning. Thus we see a talmid chachom has to appear properly to others but he should not reveal what is truly in his heart. This is actually the intent when Chazal said, “Who is a talmid chachom? One who knows to reverse his clothing i.e., that he should be different and separate from those who are invested in the mundane world and he should keep his heart away from them. Thus his thoughts are not their thoughts and he needs to be able to reverse his garment (exterior) so that it doesn’t reveal what is in his heart before the masses and they should not even be aware that he thinks and feels differently than them – as the Chovas HaLevavos has explained. This is the explanation of the medrash, “When a person merits Torah he merits a talis.” He learns to conceal his true feelings so that others have no idea what is going on in his deepest thoughts – in order that he can participate in human society (me’urav im habrios). G-d in fact helps him that he should not be influenced by them but rather his heart should be completely with G-d and His Torah. This in fact is what Yaakov was asking from G-d, “If You give me bread to eat and clothing to wear.” Bread is referring to Torah. However you must understand that it is impossible to be isolated from other people when you are with them. That is why Yaakov also requested “clothing to wear” as we mentioned before. Perhaps we can use this to explain the words of Hillel (Sukka 53a), “If I am here then everyone is here.” In other words one should not separate himself or act differently in the presence of others. He should not look depressed and bitter so that others avoid him. However when he is by himself he should think “Who am I? What is this worthless life? And when I am by myself what am I truly?” There is much more to discuss on this topic.