Rabbi Dovid Eidensohn: New blog devoted to marriage and divorce issues

My name is Rabbi Dovid E. Eidensohn. I studied under Gedolim Reb Aharon Kotler, Reb Moshe Feinstein, and Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashev, all of them zt"l. Reb Elyashev zt"l gave me his name for my Gittin Beth Din. He told me he was very concerned about the problems of divorcing parents, and sometimes this results is an invalid GET, when it is coerced especially when a civil court does this. I used to put a lot of material on my brother's blog, Daas Torah (Rabbi Dr. Daniel Eidensohn from Jerusalem). I just discussed with my brother about the need for me to make a new blog totally devoted to problems with marriage and divorce, children, court, etc.

I started it today as
www.torahhalacha.blogspot.com.

If you or anyone has a question in halacha about divorce and Gittin and marriage, please contact me at the above website:

www.torahhalacha.blogspot.com

Thank you,

Dovid Eidensohn

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Rethinking challenging kids-where there's a skill there's a way

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Schlesinger Twins: Beth asks that you send an email to Rabbi Moshe Kotlarsky

http://helpbeth.org/email-to-rabbi-moshe-kotlarsky/

Rabbi Moshe Kotlarsky is the director of the International Conference of Chabad-Lubavitch Emissaries and Vice-Chairman of Merkos L’lnyonei Chinuch, the educational arm of the Chabad-Lubavitch movement. Rabbi Kotlarsky travels the globe establishing Jewish centers for the Chabad-Lubavitch movement, becoming known as “Judaism’s Globe Trotter”. In many countries he is the public face of Chabad, visiting heads of state and opening new Chabad centers worldwide.

Please send your letter to Rabbi Kotlarsky at rmk@kinus.com or kinus@kinus.com  - or copy the following and send it to him =============================================== SUBJECT: Rabbi Kotlarsky - your help is urgently required Dear Rabbi Kotlarsky Shlita, It is with great reluctance that the step has been taken to approach you in this way. All other avenues to raise this matter to the highest echelons in Chabad have so far been fruitless which is why you are receiving this message. I understand this is a busy time in your calendar, shortly before the International Conference of Chabad-Lubavitch Shluchim (Kinus), when so many emissaries come to Crown Heights from all over the world. But it is precisely at this time, when such a pool of immense talent and global influence is concentrated in one place, that the biggest breakthroughs can be achieved. In July 2011, 2 year-old twins Samuel and Benjamin Schlesinger, were ripped from their mother's arms and handed to their father, Mr Michael Schlesinger, on the immediate instructions of an Austrian court ruling. Their mother, Beth Schlesinger (nee Alexander), has been awarded pitiful visiting rights and hasn't seen her children on Shabbos or Yom Tov since this time (with the exception of one Shabbos in August 2014). The courts in Vienna have behaved extremely strangely in the father's favour throughout the proceedings by discounting important facts, twisting medical reports and other evidence of bias. The response has been a global campaign backed by a Beis Din, multiple Rabbis, British Politicians and many supporters globally. See helpbeth.org An anonymous Chabad posek has stated that these children should be living under the custody of their mother on the basis of a handwritten note written by the Rebbe himself: http://helpbeth.org/schlesinger-twins-the-lubavitcher-rebbe-held-strongly-that-the-mother-should-get-custody/ In an unusual move, Rabbi Jacob Biderman, the head of Chabad in Austria, voluntarily involved himself in the court case some time ago. Unfortunately, the father still has sole custody of the twins and he regularly cancels the few visits awarded by the court to the mother. We urge the Chabad leadership and the greater Chabad movement to stand behind Rabbi Biderman and provide him with all the tools he needs to be able to contribute further to the court case such that the mother's plight is accurately presented and that the judge should revisit her custody and visitation rulings. In this way it is hoped the custody arrangement will be revised and the children can have a better childhood than the one they currently face. Chabad do wonderful work in some of the most inaccessible places on earth and we hope they continue to have resounding success as they have done over so many years. I am sure I don't speak alone when I say I would like to see this success and fantastic reputation continue, without the distraction of the case of the Schlesinger twins in Austria. For more information, please watch this short clip. Wishing you and your Shluchim every Hazlacha. Yours your name and address

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Here is a video of Rabbi Kotlarsky speaking at this annual conference in 2012. He quotes a previous Lubavitcher Rebbe in the his address saying “no matter how engrossed we may be, in whatever it may be, we may never fail to hear the cry of a child”. We can only hope he hears the cries of Samuel and Benjamin Schlesinger in Vienna.

Visit Jewish.TV for more Jewish videos.

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Dan l'chaf zechus - What is the obligation to judge favorably?

update - point 5 Chofetz Chaim

One of the major issues when making decisions about other people is the well known principle of dan l'chaf zechus (to judge people favorably). What does that mean and what are the parameters. In this post - I will gradually add up the elements to give a full picture of what is involved. 

1) Firstly what is the source of this principle? While it does state the principle in Avos (1:6) "Appoint a teacher for yourself, acquire a companion and judge all men favorably" - this is not the source of the principle - but it seems to be advice. The actual source of the principle is learned in Shevuos (30a) from Vayikra (19:15) - the verse immediately preceding the prohibition of lashon harah. The end of the verse says "With righteousness you shall judge others" 

Shevuos (30a): Our Rabbis taught: In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour: that one should not sit, and the other stand; one speak all that he wishes, and the other bidden to be brief. Another interpretation: In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour: judge thy neighbour in the scale of merit.

2) There is an obvious problem - as Rav S. R. Hirsch points out. If this verse is referring to judgment in court - it is not dealing with interpersonal relationships. And yet the gemora seems to learn both from the same verse!

The Meiri seems to be the only one who simply says that the verse is about beis din and dan lchaf zechus is merely an asmachta.

Meiri (Shavuos 30b): Even though the majority of what I have written are laws learned directly from the Vayikra (19:15) "b'tzedek tisphot amisecha" [which are laws of beis din] there is also something which is learned indirectly from this verse by asmachta and allusions. That is the principle that a person should judge others favorably giving them the benefit of the doubt (l'kaf zecus) when the case can legitimately be understood in two opposing ways and the only way to decide between them is to rely on what is reasonable. ...

3) The next question is what exactly are the details? The Rambam makes a number of  different statements. For example he clearly indicates it is a desirable personality trait - but not a mitzva in these two places where he doesn't mention an obligation.

Rambam(Sefer haMitzvos 177):... Aside from the laws dealing with beis din, it is also learned from this verse of B'Tzedek that it is proper to judge his fellow man as innocent and not to understand his deeds and words other than being good.

Rambam(Hilchos De'os 5:7):A talmid chachom should have the midos that he does not scream and yell when he is talking to other like a bull or wild animal....and he should judge all men as being innocent and speak of their praise and not degrade them at all. He should love peace and pursue peace...

 However in Avos he makes distinctions based on the type of person - it is no longer "all men"- but judgments of innocence are an act of piety - not obligation. He does however omit the average person and lists 1) unknown person 2) tzadik 3) rasha.

Rambam(Avos 1:6): Judge all people as innocent. This means that if there is a man that you don't know whether he is righteous or wicked and you see him do something or say something that can be interpreted either as good or bad – you should understand it as good and not bad. However if you know the person to be an established tzadik and his deeds are good and he apparently does something that is bad and only by using a far fetched explanation can it be justified – then it is proper to assume that in fact it was good and do not suspect him of evil.... On the other hand a person well established as evil then it is best to avoid such a person and not to believe he is capable of doing anything good – if there is anyway of interpreting it as evil behavior. So if the person is not known to you and his deeds have not been determined to be good or bad – then it is necessary as an act of piety to judge him favorably.

However here in Mishneh Torah the Rambam again states all people

Rambam(Sanhedrin 23:10): When litigants are before the beis din they should be viewed as wicked and with the presumption that both sides are lying and judgments should be based on what seems correct. However when the trial is over and the litigants leave beis din they should be viewed by the judges as righteous people since they have accepted the judgmet of the court. And all people should be judged as innocent.

It would thus seem that the Rambam views dan l'chaf zechus as a principle of midos rather than halachic obligation.

That apparently is the view also of Rabbeinu Yonah for the average person. Viewing the tzadik as innoncent, however, is obligatory unless the evidence is unequivocal.

Rabbeinu Yonah(Shaarei Teshuva 3:218): A person who says something or does something and it is possible to judge his words or his actions either as being good or bad. If he is a G-d fearing man then truth demands that he be judged favorably even if his words or actions are reasonably closer and inclined to being bad.

And if he is of the average class of men, who guard themselves from sinning, but who occasionally succumb. then it is appropriate to cast aside the doubt and decide in favor of his worthiness. As our Sages of blessed memory have said, "One who adjudges his friend as worthy will himself be adjudged worthy by God" (Shabbath 127b). This is a positive commandment of the Torah, as it is said, "In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbor" (Leviticus 19: 15). And if the deed points to the side of incrimination, let it be doubtful in your eyes, and do not decide it in favor of incrimination.

But if most of the man's deeds are evil. or if you have established that the fear of God is not present in his heart. incline his deeds and his words to the side of incrimination. as it is said, "The righteous one considereth the house of the wicked, overthrowing the wicked to their ruin" (Proverbs 21 : 12). We have already interpreted this verse.

Thus it is only for the gadol/tzadik/talmid chachom is one obliged to believe - even reasonable - not not conclusive evidence of wrong doing.

4) However many poskim say that we don't have such people in our times. This is discussed by Minchas Yitzchok (3:112) and stated clearly by the Chavis Ya'ir (#62) and others.

5) All of the above however is only if no one might be hurt be assuming innocence. What is the halacha if there is a possibility of assuming innocence or assuming  that the person did teshuva - but if that judgment is mistaken someone might be hurt?  Clearly it changes the priorities.

Rabbi Dovid Castle [To Live among Friends] notes (page 790) If a teacher was caught child molesting, you should not give him the benefit of the doubt and decide that he probably will not do it anymore. That would be at the expense of others. Similarly if  someone has a history of violent behavior or mental illness, when it comes to shidduchim, you may not hide such information and give him the benefit of the doubt about his future behavior. If someone is suspected of swindling people you should not give him the benefit of the doubt and suggest to someone else to go into business with him. We should not over-emphasize our obligation not to speak lashon hara in situations where we are obliged to speak.

7) Chofetz Chaim strongly disagrees that dan lchaf zechus is only midos chassidus for the average person. He says that is a misunderstanding of the Rambam. Problem is that if the Rambam (Avos 1:6) is talking about the case of an unknown person which is midos chassidus - why doesn't the Rambam mention the normal case? Furthermore Rabbeinu Yonah's language also indicates  that it is midos chassidus for the average person - while he says it is a Torah obligation only for the Tzadik.

Chofetz Chaim  (Essen 3 Be'er Mayim Chaim 3): My good reader, don't try to refute my understanding by saying that the Rambam definitely disagreed with Rabbeinu Yonah, the Semag and the Semaj – and  held that "judging favorably" is only a proper personality trait but not a Torah mitzva. Don't insist that the Rambam held that judging favorably is only a good personality trait and not a Torah obligation based on the fact that the Rambam wrote at the end of his comment to Avos (1:6) that it was only midos chassidus (piety). That is in fact a mistaken understanding of the Rambam's view. The Rambam (Avos 1:6) there is only referring to the case where it is unknown whether the person is righteous or evil. In such a case it is clear that I have no obligation from the Torah to judge him favorably and if I do so it is only a good personality trait – not a Torah obligation. This also explains the Rambam (Hilchos De'os 5:7) where he says it is one of the characteristics of the talmid chachom to judge favorably. The clear inference is that is only a sign of good personality and is not obligatory. But the answer is that (Hilchos De'os 5:7) is also only describing the case of an unknown person.

In the text of the Chofetz Chaim (Essen 3) I quoted the language of Avos (1:6) "Judge everyone favorably" which seems to mean that everyone – even those who are strangers. In fact however it is only a Torah obligation in the case where we know the person is not evil but is an average person.  Proof for this understanding comes from the Rambam himself in Sefer HaMitzvos (177) who explicitly states, "Included in this verse (Yakira 19:15) is also the obligation to judge his friends (chaver) favorably. The clear implication of the word "obligation" is that we are dealing with the case when all men are obligated in this mitzva (not just talmidei chachomim) - since the 613 mitzvos the Rambam is describing applies to all Jews. We can see that our explanation is true from the Rambam in Avos (1:6) and in Hilchos De'os (5:7), that we mentioned above which mentions midos, simply says to "judge all men favorably"   - even if they are strangers. In contrast Shavuos (30a) and Sefer Mitzvos (177) which are describing the Torah obligation of the verse "With righteousness judge your fellow" say "judge your friends favorably". The word "friends" implies that you recognize that he isn't a wicked person.

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Russian monument to Steve Jobs taken down after Apple CEO Cook says he is gay

Washington Post

A Russian monument to Apple co-founder Steve Jobs has been taken down, after Apple CEO Tim Cook’s announcement last week that he is gay.

The monument, which is in the shape of an oversize iPhone, was located on a university campus in St. Petersburg, one of the more liberal cities in Russia, until its removal Friday.

It was put there in 2013 under the initiative of Maxim Dolgopolov, head of the holding company ZEFS, known in English as the Western European Financial Union, which cited Cook’s revelations about his sexuality in a Bloomberg Businessweek article last Thursday as the reason the company decided to remove the statue.

“Russian legislation prohibits propaganda of homosexuality and other sexual perversions among minors,” ZEFS wrote in a statement published on the Web site of Russian radio station Ekho Moskvy. “After Apple CEO Tim Cook publicly called for sodomy, the monument was dismantled pursuant to Russian federal law on the protection of children from information that promotes the denial of traditional family values.” [...]

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Spurious Correlations don't show cause and effect - examples

Tyler Vigen

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International Conference on The Jewish Community Confronts Violence & Abuse

I will be giving two 15 minutes presentations at the "International Conference on the Jewish Community confronts Violence and Abuse" which takes place December 1- December 3 in Jerusalem at the Ramada Hotel. Schedule is still tentative

Monday December 1, in session 3 between 4:30-6 on "The Rabbinic Role in Confronting Abuse"  I will talk about: 

The critical role of halacha and piety in incorrectly reducing commonsense and the sensitivity to abuse and victims 

Tuesday December 2, in the session 4 between 5:30-7 on "Legal Dilemmas Involving Domestic Violence & Divorce", I will talk about:

The halachic problems of using Internet and public protests to free Agunos. The conflict between contemporary values of Get on demand and the halacha that a Get not given freely by the husband is invalid as a Get Me'usa

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